Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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