Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
