If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
