with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
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