found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize