The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.