Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
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Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
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Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!