I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.