im drinking this country out of the recession.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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