your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
