Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
