Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
