Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
