I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
