I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
