You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
