and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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