He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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