Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
