We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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