Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize