Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
