It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
