i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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