I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Dating After Heartbreak
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone