Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.