hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with