So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER