I wanna passion pit in your ass
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.