CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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