yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
