Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize