I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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