How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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