...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
