Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
