Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
