This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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