Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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