Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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