you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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