i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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