Pregnant stripper...not hot.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
