The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
