yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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