shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
she peed on how many people?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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