we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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