areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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