Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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