The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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