whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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