Operation Purity has been aborted
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
