It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY