Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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