he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
