puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
