I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
