we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
