yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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