Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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