Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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