Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You took a bar mat shot.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
