I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
