why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
