im drinking this country out of the recession.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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