we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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