would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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