OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
