I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
