So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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