my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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