I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...