"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.