So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
