Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
