I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
