We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
